No Wood for Woody’s

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What: Coronary Burger
Where: Woody’s Burger Bar and Grill (GTA/Etobicoke, ON)
Cuisine: Burger Joint
Affordability: under $15 for a combo

Pointers:

- Don’t come really hungry because you will wait a while for your burger/meal. Their disclaimer is 20mins hence they don’t call themselves “fast food”.

- First impressions, the place is really dirty for a restaurant that is not busy. Everywhere you touch – tables, benches, chairs and tables on the patio, bar area, ordering/cashier counter, etc – was sticky. There was a glob of what appears to be ketchup and mustard combo on the floor that kept getting ignored and a few patrons have stepped on it and tracked around the restaurant. Outside was no better: plastic cutlery, sauce containers and napkins litter the patio area. I guess they also promote smoking outside since there were ashtrays. The entire time I was there, no one wiped any tables or re-arranged the chairs, swept or picked up any litter. The prep area is very dirty with grease, and the toppings looked like it has been out for hours without proper refrigeration from underneath to keep it some semblance of freshness. The whole toppings area just didn’t look appetizing. I went to the bathroom to wash my hands before eating and there was a warning about the mayo. Maybe I should have understood it instead of ignoring the warning. The mayo I got for my fries had clearly been out a while…it has already turned yellow and dried up in some parts.

- The staff here are gross and doesn’t seem to follow food safety prep techniques. A full bearded guy with unkempt hair is over the counter cooking and making burgers. There are hair nets for those. He wore his pants low and he kept pulling on them whilst preparing the food. Then he went to serve a customer their fries where he left the prep area and he returned without washing his hands. The other guy putting the fixings has gloves on, but he has dipped his hand in everything in the toppings area, and it showed. When I asked for water, the pitcher was stored in the fridge that keeps the kegs cold. Overall, just not very clean. I don’t know how they’ve passed the health inspection.

- They claim to serve “gourmet” burgers that appear to be a little overpriced (an average of $7 a burger alone). I had the Coronary Burger $8.35 (pictured below) with the fries (combo pictured above) and a bottled water for about $13. The Coronary Burger consists of stuffed cheese burger (choice of blue cheese or cheddar), I had blue cheese, fried onions, smoked bacon, fried egg and choice of mayo. I added lettuce, tomato, mushrooms, and smoked ketchup to mine. I know that after reading this you’d think: “Oh my! What an explosion of flavours!” The sad part, unfortunately, was no. The burger was huge but very underwhelming, flavour-wise. The meat was no better than a “grey” burger at fast food burger chains even when it was stuffed with blue cheese. It tasted very bland…well not bland…just no distinct flavour to note or anything worth remembering. Just blah.

- Overall, that was a failure of a burger. Hero Certified Burger has a similar burger with the fried egg, and I’d rather have that. Not only is it a lot less, money-wise, it has more flavour. This was burger was just bad. Maybe it is called a coronary to mean my heart hating this burger instead of the clogging effects it has to the heart after consumption.

- I’ll give props to the fries, however. It was crispy, has flavour (sort-of), and it has skins; which is a plus in my books.

- Foodie, EH? says…ignore this joint. Next time, maybe I’ll try Burger Priest. I hear they have really good burgers and had been receiving rave reviews. Woody’s received them too…but probably from ones with no taste buds.

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